Just Another Human Stuck Highschool AU
by Velinde
Summary: Human!Stuck Highschool AU. Shenanigans ensue (of course).


**((A/N: This is a human!stuck highschool AU, as written by somebody who had never attended an actual highschool. I do not own Homestuck, or any of these characters. Andrew Hussie does. I am not Andrew Hussie. (Though I wouldn't mind being him for a day or three.) This is written purely for fun, and I don't gain any money from this. **

**There aren't really any ships I have planned, except an already established Jake/Dirk with a dash of implied PepsiCola (at least in this chapter.) Because reasons. The PoV will change every chapter, going in the order of characters being introduced. So beta kids, trolls, and alpha kids. No ancestors. Lets do this.))**

Your name is John Egbert, and you are going to be late for the first day of school. "Jane, hurry up. We're going to be late," you call to your cousin, frowning in the direction of the kitchen. Who starts to make muffins an hour before school starts?

"Coming, John," Jane calls. It's another minute before she finally comes out of the kitchen, still wearing her apron. It's sort of unsettling, how much she looks like you. Same dark brown hair, the same need for glasses for the same shade of blue eyes, the same overbite and buck teeth.

"Jane...you're still wearing your apron," you point out.

She looks down. "Oh," she says, and returns to the kitchen. She comes back without her apron, and her backpack. You sigh again and hold the door open so Jane can get out. "We're going to have to run," you state the obvious.

"I know," Jane replies.

So you both run. No other words are exchanged; the only sounds coming from you both are your feet hitting the pavement, and short intakes of breath. You consider running more often. Just to be prepared for occasions like this.

You hit the sidewalk directly in front of the school first, Jane a few feet behind. You take a look at your wristwatch, and groan. You're 15 minutes late. "I guess I'll see you later," you say, ducking under Jane's arm as she holds the door open. She's two grades ahead of you, therefore you don't share classes. .

Jane nods. "Sorry for ruining your streak of perfect attendance," she calls after you as you hurry down the hall to English.

You don't bother turning your head as you reply. "It's okay."

Your name is John Egbert, and you are slightly embarrassed as you walk into English class. You mumble an apology as your teacher stops and looks at you. She nods, and goes back to what she was saying as you take the surprisingly empty seat between two of your best friends – Dave Strider and Rose Lalonde. Dave and you had been friends since you were 10 years old, and you had met Rose in 3rd grade. Rose gives you a slightly disapproving look and you make a slight face back and mouth 'bluh'. She rolls her eyes and focuses on the teacher again.

Your name is John Egbert, and you're telling Rose and Dave why you were late for English as you head to Algebra, which is the only other class you share before Lunch. "Jane was baking muffins," you say as explanation. Dave snorts slightly.

"She was baking muffins?" Rose asks.

You nod. "She was baking muffins," you confirm that holy crap, yes indeed, Jane was in fact **baking ****_muffins_**** of all things**. "Anyway," you change the subject. "How's Dirk's cold?"

Dave groans. "Are you kidding me, Egderp? I'd rather talk about your weirdo cousin and her baking making you late than my bro being sick. He got over it though."

You stick your tongue out at him. He smirks. You scowl and think he rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses. It's hard to tell, because again, sunglasses.

"She's really not that weird. Especially if we're comparing Jane to your bro."

Dave frowned. "Touché, Egbert. Tou-frikking-shay. Did you know I woke up with puppet ass in my face again? Seriously, one of these days I'm just going to burn them all. Every. Last. Puppet. I swear."

"Don't you think that perhaps that's a bit harsh, Dave?" Rose asks.

"You seriously don't understand, Rose. This is the third damned time this week."

Rose shakes her head but says nothing more as you continue walking. The sea of people suddenly parted, and Rose had to actually jump out of the way to avoid getting run over by a wheelchair.

"No! Gamzee! Please stop!" the boy in the wheelchair insisted, his hands tightening into clenched fists. He looked pretty nervous, which was a reasonable thing to look like when somebody was pushing your wheelchair down a hallway filled with people at a fast speed.

"Ah, quiet, Tavbro. Just relax. You're not gonna crash into anything," the boy pushing the wheelchair (you recognize him as Gamzee Makara), soothed, slowing down slightly. "We just gotta get you to History 'cause Sollux is a loser and forgot about you. He'll take you to English."

"I can push my- AGH!" the two rounded the corner.

The people in the hall stared at the corner for a few seconds before resuming normal activities.

"I am 99.9% sure Makara is on drugs or something," Dave mutters, and you can't help but silently agree.

Your name is John Egbert, and a chirpy little voice coming from your right is asking you a question. "Hi! I'm Nepeta, and this is my brother, Equius! Are these seats taken?"

"Huh? Oh, no! They're not taken," you say immediately, turning your head to look at the pair. You've never seen them. Nepeta is short and chubby, and plain flat out adorable with her overall happy demeanor. Equius is...slightly intimidating. He looks absolutely nothing like Nepeta and you can tell he's taller than you by a good 5-6 inches or so. Muscular, too, like he works out every day at the gym. He's sweating slightly, even though its chilly in the art room.

Nepeta practically pounces into the chair in front of you, and Equius takes the seat next to her. There's a slight silence for a moment. "So what's your name?" Nepeta asks sweetly.

"I'm John," you reply, and Nepeta grins.

"It's so nice to meet you, John! Me and Equius are new, we just transfurred," she grins wider.

"Oh, cool! Where did you transfer from?"

"Pierce. I was actually really excited fur this, because I heard the art purrgram was really good. I'm an artist."

"Really?" you know you sound lame, but it's the best you can offer. At least you sound interested, which you are.

"Mmhmm! Just sketches and I dabble in painting, but I think I'm pretty good at it."

The art teacher, Ms. Lawrence then starts talking. She introduces herself, and then starts on with the lesson. You'll be making mosaics. She runs you all through what you'll be doing (sketching out your design and cutting the tiles), before passing out the bases and telling you all to get to work.

Nepeta immediately expresses her intention of making a cat mosaic, and Equius smiles the tiniest of smiles. It's then that you make possibly the best decision of the year.

"Would you two like to sit with me at lunch? I could introduce you to my friends, who I think you'll like."

"That sounds great!" Nepeta exclaims, nudging Equius in the side. He looks at you for a moment and then nods the slightest bit. "That would be lovely, John. Thank you."

You're surprised at how polite he is, but you smile. "Great."

Your name is John Egbert, and Dave watches as you approach the table. It's empty except for him, Rose, and one of two of the exchange students Jade's grandfather is hosting. "Hey Rose. Dave. Kanaya."

"Who are they?" Rose asks, obviously meaning Nepeta and Equius, who are trailing behind a few feet.

"Nepeta and Equius. They're new," you say, turning to look at the pair lagging behind. Nepeta has stopped to talk to a girl with pale skin and black hair. She has an eyepatch on her right eye, underneath glasses. She looks a bit unfriendly. Equius is looking uncomfortable, but lets Nepeta talk to the girl. After another minute or two, Nepeta and Equius have come over and are seated at the table.

"I'm Rose Lalonde. Please excuse the vast amount of suppressed homosexuality at this table," Rose introduces herself and leans across the table to shake both Nepeta and Equius's hands.

You blush slightly. "Rose! I am not a homosexual!" you hiss.

"Yeah, and neither is bro," Dave says, and you /know/ he's rolling his eyes as you bury your head in your arms.

Rose just shakes her head, and Nepeta giggles a bit. "It's okay if you are, John. It doesn't really matter, right, Eq?"

Equius shakes his head in a definite 'no'.

"Hey, Kanaya," Dave suddenly turns to her.

"Yes, Dave?"

"Is Terezi still alive? I haven't heard from her in a few days and I didn't see her this morning."

Kanaya's words are careful. "Yes, she's still alive, and she came to school today with Jake and I. She has been very busy."

"Oh, okay," Dave leans back in his chair, a thoughtful look crossing his face for a moment.

You catch it, and can't help but tease him a little bit. "Do you have a crush on her?" you ask in an innocent tone.

The reaction is nigh instantaneous. Dave leans forward to fix you with a look. "Hah, no. She's just really cool. Cooler than you."

You know he's kidding but it stings a bit. "Well everybody knows I'm cooler than you, so I guess I'm extra-cooler than her. Ice cold, even. As cold as this can of Pepsi. Feel it, Dave. Feel it," you slide the can across the table. He picks it up, cracks it open, and takes a long sip while looking right at you.

You should have expected that to happen. Damn.

You smack your hand on the table before reaching across to retrieve the can. He leans back. You continue leaning forward until you're almost on top of the table. He continues holding it out of your reach, and you finally sit back down, defeated. "Fine. I didn't want it anyway. You got your spit in it."

Dave smirks, and you then add "You're completely insufferable."


End file.
